The panic attack that made me save my first €1.2K

The finance date that cracked me open and kickstarted a whole new way of thinking about wealth.

Last March, I had a panic attack.

And yeah, maybe that doesn’t sound that unusual.

What’s surprising is that this panic attack happened right after the first time I decided to really take control of my money situation.

At the start of 2025, I decided to ditch, once and for all, every bit of fear (whether it made sense or not) that was holding me back, especially around money and wealth.

The moment it hit me

To be real with myself (and not just scribble goals in my diary) I made a promise: I was gonna start figuring out what wealthy people actually do and see what I could copy to flip my money story.

Reading Rich Dad, Poor Dad completely changed my perspective on earning, spending, saving, and investing.

I love when my practical side meets my spiritual side.

There’s this magical moment when you realize that the meditation you’ve been practicing (the frequency you’re slowly moving toward) also needs to show up in the practical parts of your life.

Money, in particular, is a high-energy realm I noticed I hadn’t been fully addressing.

Also, love and money are deeply connected.

Your sense of self-worth shows up in both.

So if you’re also on a manifestation journey, hoping to attract a healthy relationship or build something meaningful, your relationship with money will reflect that.

How much you believe you deserve, how freely you allow it in, how much you trust that it's coming.

Since I didn’t really have anyone around me who could guide me or push me forward, I started looking for experts who could help me get going.

I wanted to put my finances in order, stop being scared of checking my banking app after a weekend out, and finally do what I’d been avoiding for too long: build my “FU fund,” change the narrative I was living around money, and do all of this especially because I want to build a family one day and not pass along the same financial fears and limiting beliefs I’ve carried for too long.

One of the most practical things I learned from two influencers I follow (Tori from @herfirst100K and the women from Female Invest) was to set a monthly recurring financial date.

Basically, it’s picking a day each month to organize your money life: bills, expenses, payments, taxes... so you can actually know what’s going on with your cash.

Already hunting.

I was seriously excited about having a date again (lol) so I blocked off my calendar for my March Finance Date with way more hype than usual.

What I didn’t expect was that taking a hard look at my spending, my actual (completely all-over-the-place) earnings, and just how much I stress about the future sent me straight into hyperventilating mode.

Like, for real.

Like, really bad.

In less than five minutes, I was in the middle of what I can only describe as hell.

I swear my apartment started shrinking around me.

That finance date, which was supposed to bring me clarity, actually showed me how big the block really was.

I had way more resistance around money than I thought, and it needed my full attention.

After the sweaty palms and short breath passed, I made another promise to myself.

I would change.

Not just how I manage money, but how I think about it.

How I receive it.

How I make it.

Especially as a creative freelancer without a steady paycheck, this was my work.

So below, I’ve pulled together everything I’ve learned, started doing, and made my own since that wildly uncomfortable but ultimately empowering moment.

This is just the beginning.

But if you’re also ready to shift things, I hope this is the soft kind of recap you wish you’d had earlier too.

No pressure. No “you must do this now.”

Just ideas to keep in your back pocket.

Because changing your money story is big work.

And you don’t have to do it alone.

Disclaimer (aka please don’t sue me):
I’m not a financial advisor. I’m just a creative freelancer who had a meltdown, got curious, started saving money, and decided to write about it.
Please don’t take this as financial advice: take it as a friend’s voice note you happened to read. If you’re about to make big money moves, maybe call someone who actually wears a suit and knows what a bond yield is.